6 Helpful Tips for Kidnapping the President’s Daughters

I get a lot of emails from Cracked readers with questions and comments and articulate suggestions for improving my writing, (”U wood be a bettr writer if u took that cock outta ur mouth,” which, admittedly has made the physical act of writing a lot easier, though I do maintain that the stylistic impact is negligible). Still, I have to say that the question I get asked more than any other question is “Dan, I’ve kidnapped the president’s daughter(s) and I can’t remember why. What should I do?! ”

 

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